Peggy Collins I will always feel like an imposter.
It’s very likely that you will too, at some point in your career. im·pos·tor syn·drome [impostor syndrome] NOUN imposter syndrome: the persistent inability to believe that one's success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one's own efforts or skills. E.g. "people suffering from impostor syndrome may be at increased risk of anxiety" It’s a pretty common thing amongst creatives. I remember my very first SCBWI conference – which was life-changing in so many ways. On my way there (I was also pregnant with my first child), I was nauseous. I almost turned around. More than once. I had graduated from Sheridan College for illustration; this WAS what I wanted more than anything. I had ALREADY illustrated a book for Scholastic and had been paid for my art since graduation. BUT I was SURE I did not belong here, in Niagara Falls, with REAL writers and illustrators. I was wrong, in so many ways – I met some of my very best friends there. I found mentors, critique groups and made direct contact with two new art directors that I wanted to work with, and it was amazing. It launched my career. Bad news? I still feel like an imposter on the regular. EVEN after this past year, which has been the highlight of my career so far. But, there is hope! How do we get PAST feeling this way? 1. Stop comparing. I mean it. Comparison is the death of joy (you have heard this before). Instead of looking at how you (feel) you come up short, celebrate your fellow creatives (especially the ones you know need it). Study the work, analyze what you love about it – is it how it ‘feels’? the lighting? The backgrounds? The expressions? Once you do this – you have your next step ready – work on THOSE things! Micro courses, tutorials, trial and error, these will all help you make art you can appreciate more. 2. Get OUTSIDE, in your community. Making art/writing for a living can be lonely. I, for one, spend far too much time in my head when I am alone, and this leads to those thoughts. Not many of us have lots of extra cash lying around – but did you know that many charities will issue receipts for a donation of your work? I have worked hard to create community connections with charities and organizations I believe in. For example – our local shelter/food bank was doing a fundraiser and I offered to design/illustrate a map, for which they offered a generous tax receipt. I learned more about the unhoused community and was able to help raise money for the organization that is working to fix this problem. I worked with my children’s school creating murals with the kids – which has led to numerous paid mural projects, books, community art installations etc. There is so much more – but I truly believe that if you give with your heart – you will reap the rewards. It is important to not overextend yourself or give away too much for free – but time is more generous than money. Also, it exposes you to more stories/lives/experiences that make you a better storyteller. 3. ACCEPT that regardless of whatever point you are in your career – there will always be people you admire (and may be a little jealous of) and people who are thinking the same about you. There is room for all of us. 4. DO it ANYWAY. This is the key to it all. If you feel the waves of self doubt and imposter syndrome waving over you, make art, make it badly, draw with your non-dominant hand, play with ideas and media – and don’t expect that everything you do will be awesome. If you are having fun, you will make art that shows it. 5. And lastly – talk about it. The more of us that know that so many of us feel this way – the less we will feel this way. Take the monster out of the dark – it’s kinda cute, really. The kidlit community is really one of the most incredible, supportive ones in the world. I hope this helps you a little. I even feel a little imposterish about writing this – but I did it anyway. Get involved, look around and recognize that you have a unique and special gift that only you get to nurture and share. Not all riches are monetary. Peggy Collins is an award-winning children’s book author-illustrator with more than 35 titles to her name, including Harley the Hero (winner BLUE SPRUCE 2022), A Sky-Blue Bench, Whistling for Angela, In the Snow, and In the Garden. She has also written and illustrated for animated apps teaching math, indigenous history, and education and is faculty in the Animation and Game program at Loyalist College. Peggy lives in Napanee, Ontario with her two children and two cats. www.peggysillustration.com Comments are closed.
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